CHRIS ROCK ON MICHAEL JACKSON:

PROBABLY THE BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER MADE

RANDOM HOUSEHOLD PHOTOGRAPHS

TALES OF THE UNEMPLOYED

The following incident took place after I just came home from doing some necessary food shopping on June 1st, 2009 around 4:30pm e.s.t :

I am drinking my newly purchased coffee and the cats are eating their newly purchased dry food as I am surfing the net for entertainment.

Suddenly there is a frantic knock at the door.

I open the door and it is Jimmy, the fortyish functioning alcoholic ex con of a neighbor who is still on the extension of his unemployment and "looking" for work.

But a decent human being nonetheless, and actually a trustworthy friend.

As I open the door he is standing in the rain on my porch, no shirt, no shoes, wearing shorts and an orange baseball cap on with a look of tense concern as if some dire emergency is in play and I get the sense that there might be some life or death situation that he has found himself caught up in or something serious has just happened.

He says with a serious look "Dude, ya gotta do me a favor."

"What?" I ask.

"you gotta give me some shit paper."

I was confused and didn't think I heard him correctly.

"Shit paper?" I asked.

"Yeah I need some toilet paper, just wrap a wad around your hand and give it to me, anything you can spare, I dont care!"

"Oh, toilet paper, sure I'll be right back"

I shut the door and went to the bathroom.
I opened the cabinet took out a roll and realized that because it was raining it needed to be wrapped in a plastic bag or something.

I took a plastic shopping bag off the floor, put the roll inside and tied it shut.

I opened the door and said, here ya go handing him the bag.

"Thanks" he said,"Ill bring it back to you when I'm done."

"No no, dont worry keep it" I said
"I dont want it - It's yours."

There is a brief moment of silence as Jimmy stands there and holds the bag in both hands he suddenly twitches as if he has received some kind of electric shock and a look of horror passes his face, I dont think I've ever seen him so scared before.

His eyes grow wide and he blurts out:

"I gotta go!"

and he runs away across the street back to his trailer kind of hunched over and looking like some sort of fat hedgehog while the sky pours down rain.

I shut the door and laughed to myself.

I don't know why this incident made me laugh, it just did, I couldnt help it.

Am I a bad person for thinking this was funny?

Am I going to hell when I die?

BRAGGADOCIO

I thought I would put up the definition of the word braggadocio since it is currently number 92 on the list of most searched for phrases on google trends.


copied and pasted from merriam-webster.com:


braggadocio
One entry found.

Main Entry:
brag·ga·do·cio Listen to the pronunciation of braggadocio
Pronunciation:
\ˌbra-gə-ˈdō-sē-ˌō, -shē-, -chē-, -(ˌ)shō, -(ˌ)chō\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural brag·ga·do·cios
Etymology:
Braggadochio, personification of boasting in Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser
Date:
1594

1: braggart2 a: empty boasting b: arrogant pretension : cockiness.

STARBUCKS EXPLOSION

Im lazy, so I just copied and pasted the story from democraticunderground.com because according to google trends people seem interested...


Edited on Mon May-25-09 11:59 AM by KittyWampus
Source: ABC News

NEW YORK (WABC)

An explosive device blew out the windows of a Starbucks coffee shop in a blast that rocked an Upper East Side neighborhood. The loud blast was heard at the intersection of Third Avenue and East 92nd Street just before 4 a.m. The explosion took place on 92nd and 3rd avenue. Police are still looking for the person who left the device outside of the Starbucks.

The time of day echoed that of a pattern of unsolved early morning blasts that have occurred outside the British Consulate, the Mexican Consulate and the Armed Forces recruiting booth in Times Square over the past two years. "The similarity is the time. The Mexican consulate, the British consulate, the Times Square bombing event at the recruiting station, we have this event. They all happened between 3:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. that's the immediate similarity we are looking at," said Commissioner Ray Kelly.

The explosion took place on a bench outside of the store. The bomb squad, OEM, along with the FDNY and NYPD are investigating.In the earlier cases witnesses and surveillance camera footage showed a suspect escaping on a bicycle. In today's incident, no such information was immediately available but police were canvassing the neighborhood and collecting and reviewing security camera tapes. "We will be checking cameras in the area. Right now there are no reports of anyone on a bicycle,"

The amount of explosive used today was thought to be the equivalent of two or more such fireworks. While the targets in the past blasts suggested a possible political motive to the attacks, the reason for today's attack was unclear.

Read more: http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6830051


Later in article it says motive unknown, Starbucks has been targeted in other cities before.

GO HOME IT'S OVER.

Shout when you wanna get off the ride
Shout when you wanna get off the ride
Shout when you wanna get off the ride
cuz you crossed my mind, crossed my mind

Made my blood thump 7-8-9
Make my heart beat double time
Now I'm the only sour cherry on your fruit stand right?


Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand?


Shout when you wanna get off the ride
Shout when you wanna get off the ride
cuz you crossed my mind
crossed my mind

I'm a penny in a diamond mine

We could be movers

We could be shakers

If we could just shake somthin' outta the blue

get off the ride.


Oh I'm the only sour cherry on your fruit stand, right?

Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand?

Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand, right?

Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand?


G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
go go home it's over

G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
Go go home it’s over

G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
Go go home it's over

G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
Go go home it’s over.


Now I'm the only sour cherry on your fruit stand

Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand?

Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand, right?

Am I the only sour cherry on your fruit stand?


G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
go go home it's over

G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
Go go home it’s over

G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
Go go home it's over

G-g-g-go home, go home it's over
Go go home it’s over.